The Pregnancy.
I feel as though this chapter should come with haunting music and CSI-type dramatic flair. To tell you the truth, my pregnancy with Reid was so traumatizing that I really couldn't even bring myself to write it yesterday (thus the day late).
So hopefully with a full nights sleep (for the first night in a week-thanks to Reid and the plague) I can sum up the 8 months that was his pregnancy.
To say we were thrilled to find out we were pregnant was a bit of an understatement. We felt as though we were finally allowed through the "gates of Disney World" instead of being on the outside looking in. You're supposed to wait the 12 weeks to tell people. That didn't happen. We told my parents first (they cried), then my sister and her family (she cried), then within a couple of days we had told Del's family. Everyone was thrilled for us and so excited to be welcoming in a new family member.
The black cloud? The bleeding. Oh, the bleeding. It. Never. Stopped. So each day I would wake up with the thoughts, "Is today the day I mis-carry?" and at night I would go to bed with the thoughts, "I really hope I can make it through the night without a trip to Emergency". I bled constantly up to 20 weeks. Then it stopped for 10 weeks. Then it started up again at 30 weeks. I had a total of 9 ultrasounds. None of which really clearly explained what was happening.
During every ultrasound (Del came to each one) I would hold my breath until the wand was placed on my stomach. Within seconds we would see Reid and then Del and I would both search wildly for the "flicker" we began to distinctly be able to find that meant his heart was still beating. Then I would cry. Then Del would say, "I knew everything was fine". Rinse. Lather. Repeat. NINE times!
Physically for the first 30 weeks or so I felt pretty good. I had no morning sickness and very few other regular pregnancy complaints. I did spend the first 12 weeks on "low-to-no activity" and then was off work every couple of weeks for a few days at a time after that. I also felt guilty about that because when you teach, you think of the students as your own kids and know how important consistency and security is to them. My students that year really didn't know from one day to the next if I was going to show up.
At around 30 weeks all hell broke loose. I started bleeding again. Which means instant trip to Emergency and overnight observations in Labour and Delivery (you know, listening all night to women in labour). I also got Gestational Diabetes and my sugars were so whacked that I could barely hold on to controlling them with diet. I lost the only 12 lbs. of pregnancy weight I gained within about 5 days. To "ice the cake" I got a wicked chest infection/pneumonia which was left way too long to be treated (as they were unsure of the effects of the medication on the baby). It ended up that we had to make the choice between risking the baby and/or risking my health. So we prayed for protection and took the (very strong) drugs.
Foolishly all through this I somehow kept working. I would drag myself (almost late) to work every morning. I'd be checking my blood sugars at the back of my classroom while my students were working quietly. I got so out of breath and exhausted that it would take every effort I had to make my way down the hall to go to the bathroom. I had the most wonderful teacher assistant that year and incredible students who did whatever they could to help. After school I would crawl home and fall asleep instantly. Del would wake me up to have supper (which he made every single night) and then I would go back to sleep until bed time.
The part of this story that makes me the most emotional is how bathed in prayer our baby and our family was. Each day my little 8 year-old students would bow their heads and pray for our unborn child. My fellow co-workers would meet and pray for us. Our church family included our plight in all of the small group gatherings and we would provide weekly updates. Never was there a more prayed for life.
For different reasons but mostly because I was utterly exhausted, I made it to 36 weeks before I pulled the towel on work. March 3rd was to be my first official maternity leave day. Reid wasn't due until March 27th. I was very excited about having almost a month to relax, recover and prepare for the birth of our child.
Reid had other plans.
to be continued...
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2 comments:
I am just exhausted reading it, let alone living it. It seems like a lot while you are dealing with it each day and then when you write it all down, it's even more overwhelming. You are one tough momma and so deserve the beautiful little man you got. Just remember that, those days where you would like to throw him in the toilet. Carter told me the other day that "he had had it with me" what could I do but laugh.
Wow. These posts are AMAZING and totally show God's provision in the really rough times you went through with the final result of a perfectly healthy, gorgeous little boy!
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