Good Grief?

Today I'm wondering who came up with the "good grief" saying. I find myself repeating it ever so often but lately I'm realizing what an oxymoron that statement just may be.

Since Reid has been born, we have watched three dear families experience tragic loss. Four weeks after Reid was born, my close friend and her husband lost their unborn child. Two weeks after that, my family experienced loss with the death of my dad's cousin. Just this weekend, a dear childhood friend of Del's lost his mother. All three families experienced quick, unexpected loss.

Watching those families process and deal with the shock of it all has been difficult. Even more difficult for me now that I'm a mother. The thought of my son not knowing his grandparents or us losing a child is overwhelming. You see such an innocence in Reid's eyes of life and how quick he is to smile and I find myself overwhelmed with the need to protect him from the unfairness of life. It leaves me asking myself, "how can I best prepare my child for life's uncertainties?"

I believe in God. It's not religion to me, or having religion. My faith is one that is grounded in Jesus. That He came to live and die for our sins so that we may live eternally with Him. I believe it is a conscious choice to have faith and believe. I understand that God gives us free will and that we are welcome to choose whether to believe in His teachings. In that, I believe that when we die, if we've chosen to confess and ask to be forgiven, that we will live eternally with Jesus in Heaven.

That being said, death for me is not scary. What is frightening though is the thought of someone experiencing a loss without the hope and understanding of Christ. In the Bible, God never promises that life here on earth will be easy and pain free. It is quite the opposite. He does promise that He will always be with us. He also promises that this "worldly" life is only one part of our living and that our life is eternal. So with earthly pain and suffering, comes the hope of never being alone and this not being the end.

I just finished reading Amy Grant's biography, Mosaic. In this book she talks about how life is a mosaic of series and events. Everyone's stories are different but general themes are the same. People live and die, babies are born, children leave for college, divorce sometimes happens, etc. Life goes on and tears dry. She gives many examples of how the most important things in life are not things, but people. She also talks about how important it is to serve others in friendship and in love and live a life giving to others.

With understanding of eternal life, and a servant heart for others. That's what we can teach and model to our son. Am I perfect? Not a chance. Am I willing to change and be moulded by my Creator? You bet.

So is grief good? Maybe. Because in grief you honour and respect the wonderful things that this life has to offer. It's not about cars or big screen TV's, it's not about the biggest house or the latest fashions. Life is about giving. Life is about loving every minute of the gift you've been given to be a parent. Life is about stopping and visiting with a neighbour. Life is about asking someone how they are doing and waiting to listen for an honest response. Life is about welcoming people into my home any time. I want my life, and the life of my family to be multiplying itself because of giving.

So these days, I will grieve. I will think of the lives that were cut short and think of the families that are walking through their grief. I will also treasure every minute of these days with my family knowing that life is eternal and (thankfully) grief is temporary.